Love, mom

Kala Shute

August 12, 2017

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I would tell you that you got lipstick on your teeth from blowing out the candles at your sweet 16.

I would tell you to turn your blinker off, you’re going to fail the driver’s test twice now.

I would tell you that your boyfriend doesn't treat you well enough and that you deserve better.

I would tell you that the dress you wore to prom was too long and someone would step on it.

I would tell you to wake up, you are missing your alarm and you are late for graduation.

I would tell you that you forgot to brush your teeth this morning and you have a job interview.

I would tell you that your veil is falling off and you need to fix it before the wedding. 

I would tell you to stop crying at night because you are getting your sheets dirty.

And I would tell you that you need to save those tears for when you watch your kids do the things I didn’t get to see you do. 

Just because my cancer took me, does not mean it should take you. 

And it didn’t.

I raised you..

 I raised you to be strong. I raised you to know what’s right from what’s wrong. I raised you to listen to nothing but good, and be independent like you know you should. 

I taught you.

 I taught you to fight, to go for what you want even if you might fail. I taught you to be smart and pay attention. Pay attention to others and use it to make yourself better and you did. 

You broke up with that boyfriend and got a better one like I knew you would. I told you when you were young, nobody deserves you, and I was right, but you chose a good one. 

You picked up a needle and sewed your dress until it fit just right, because you are smart, you always have been. 

And you woke up and chewed gum right before walking into the manager's door because you knew better and you are the manager now, because you pushed yourself like I told you to. 

You woke up five minutes before that alarm and crossed that stage mighty and proud because you own it. You made it.

You got your license, you turned sixteen, you got married, and you had kids.

I didn’t get to see you do these things, even though I fought my best to be there. 

You thought you needed me, but you didn’t.

I needed you to be happy and you needed strength.

I taught you to be strong.

You did all of this on your own and I am proud of you. 

You did this. You did this. 

I’m sorry I couldn’t be there, you know I wish I could've been.

If I was still there, I would tell you I love you and you are everything I raised you to be. 

Love, mom

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"A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you."

-C.S. Lewis

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